What You Should Know About Codependency

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Please seek the advice of your mental health doctor, therapist, or psychologist before making any lifestyle changes.

Codependency is basically a control issue. Either one wants to be controlled or wants to control others. There is usually the lack of self esteem and a comfortable feeling of martyrdom. Codependency is a psychological condition of someone who is controlled by a person with a pathological condition. Codependents have been taught through a lifestyle of unhealthy treatment to blame themselves for all the problems in the home and relationships. They are usually associated with alcoholics or drug addicts, and are often alcoholics or drug addicts themselves.

They seem to understand healthy versus unhealthy behavior, yet they continue to behave in an unhealthy manner. Most will avoid conflict at any cost. They will go against their morals and values to keep the peace. They will even lie on occasion to keep the peace and have extreme difficulty saying no when asked to do something; even if they are opposed to the action.

Codependents tend to believe that they have some kind of control over another’s actions. They whole heartedly believe that they can keep any situation under control by “behaving” appropriately which includes keeping the peace at all costs. They also frequently find solace in confiding in their friends and family by talking about the things they have to do and say to keep things on an even keel. This method doesn’t always work, so they claim martyrdom and crave sympathy from others. However, they rarely take rational advice from those they confide in.

Knowing that codependency can be somewhat hereditary is something you and your therapist should take into consideration. Generally, we are products of what we learn as children. If you have witnessed codependent behavior by one or both of your parents, you are inclined to mimic what you've learned.

There are many ways to be treated for codependency. First of all, you need to be diagnosed by a mental health professional. He or she can determine how severe the disease is and the right kind of treatment for you, personally. Once this has happened, one on one or group therapy may be scheduled to treat you. This can prove to be quite helpful.

There are books that are also great resources to help guide you back to a healthy lifestyle. Al-Anon and Al-Ateen meetings are essential to becoming a healthy person again. Here is a link that should allow you to find local meetings and times to fit into your schedule:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Thank you for your interest in my writing. I certainly hope the read was helpful and enlightening. Please feel free to say what you would like in the comments section below. Your opinions, suggestions, and constructive criticism are always welcome.

"Be kind to one another" ~ Ellen

God Bless You ~ Margaret Sullivan